Attack of the munchie moocher
by kenihiko
Summary: what happens when one of the group gets bored. rated for language and mild violence. probably a bit ooc. i only wish i owned.


Attack of the munchie moocher

It started small as these things often do. A roll here, a bit of popcorn there. Small things.

"Hey where's my chips?" yelled Gojyo. He looked at Goku who blinked back at him as he continued to stuff a doughnut in his mouth.

"Sanzo..." the water sprite whined. "That walking stomach took my chips."

"Too bad." Said Sanzo as he turned another page of the newspaper he was reading. "You should know by now to keep an eye on your food."

"I didn't take your crappy chips." Bits of doughnut sputtered out as Goku protested.

Hakkai walked in carrying an empty potato chip bag. "Who in the world left this bag on the floor?" He mildly glared at everyone in the room.

"That's my chip bag." Gojyo grabbed it. "You see Sanzo, he did eat them." He pointed a long finger at the golden eyed boy.

"Honest, I swear, I didn't eat your chips."

"I really wanted those you stupid chimp."

"Don't call me a chimp, you pervy water sprite."

"Chimp, chimp, chimp."

"Now, now calm down you two."

BANG

"Would you two babies like a bottle now too?" The shiny gun was lowering to the table once more. "Ch, grow up."

"But Sanzo." The two in question whined.

"I'm going upstairs." Sanzo picked up the gun, folded his newspaper and climbed the stairs.

The next incident involved some fresh baked rolls.

"I know I made three dozen rolls." Hakkai was twisting his fingers slightly. "Goku?" He leaned out the window. "Did you take one of my rolls?"

"Nah uh." Goku shook his head.

"Are you sure? I won't be mad."

"I really didn't, but they sure smell good." Goku sniffed the air. "Can I have one please?"

"Oh, okay but just one."

"Thanks Hakkai, you're a great cook."

THWACK

"Ow, Sanzo why'd you hit me?"

"Stealing food again?"

"Hakkai gave this to me."

"I did give it to him Sanzo." Hakkai peeked around the door.

Goku walked away chewing happily on the roll and rubbing his head.

"Um! Sanzo?" Hakkai hesitated. "Did you or Gojyo take one of my rolls?"

"I don't know about the pervert, but I didn't take any." He turned to leave. "Why?" Sanzo stopped and looked over his shoulder at hakkai.

"Oh no real reason. I guess I miscounted."

"Yeah right." Sanzo looked directly at Hakkai. "You never miscount anything."

"It can happen."

"Uh huh! And Goku can sprout wings and fly."

"Well you never know." Hakkai smiled.

Sanzo walked away shaking his head.

Next was a missing meat bun.

Gojyo and Goku both claimed that the other took the bun to keep the other from having it.

"Wwhhaaaaa! I really wanted that meat bun."

"Well so did I you stupid monkey."

When Sanzo walked into the room he noticed that the quarrelsome duo was once more wrestling on the floor.

"I don't even want to know what it's about this time."

"Sanzo." Said two voices. "That jerk took my meat bun." They pointed at each other.

The blonde priest could feel a massive headache building behind his eyes.

"I don't care." He flipped open the newspaper that was lying on the table.

"But I'm hungry, Sanzo." Goku whimpered.

"But I'm hungry." Mocked Gojyo.

"Shut up you jerk."

"No you shut up you stupid monkey."

"Don't call me a monkey you pervert."

"I may be a pervert, but at least I'm not a stupid monkey."

Neither noticed the crinkling sound of a newspaper being squashed tighter and tighter in clenched fists.

Sanzo felt a light tapping on the newspaper and lowered it to see a pair of red bead like eyes watching him. "What do you want?"

"Kyuu!"

Sanzo noticed a bit of pastry on the little dragon's muzzle, but thought Hakkai might have feed him some of the crust off of his meat bun.

The fight grew louder until Sanzo could no longer stand it. Out came the paper fan and he proceeded to beat the offenders senseless. "For the love of god will you two shut the fuck up"

A very quiet "Kyuu." was heard, and when Sanzo turned to look the dragon was gone.

A very lumpy looking Goku knocked on Sanzo's door that night. "Sanzo?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry!"

"For what?"

"For making you mad and for fighting with Gojyo."

Sanzo sighed and opened the door. "Come on in before your whining gives me another headache."

"Hey, Sanzo?" Goku looked up. "Want to play cards?"

"Sure why not."

"Count me in." Gojyo rubbed his hands together. "What's the stakes?"

"Nothing because you aren't playing."

"What! Why not?"

"First you just walked into my room."

"The door was open."

"Second I'm not about to subject myself to another inane argument between you two."

"We don't argue."

"OUT." Shouted Sanzo.

"Gheez! Take my head off why don't you?"

"Don't tempt me." Before Sanzo could close the door Hakuryu flew in with Hakkai right behind him.

"Has any one noticed anything different about Hakuryu lately?"

"Nope." Said Goku.

"You wouldn't notice unless he had some kind of food wrapped around him." Sanzo thought for a few moments. "What's this all about Hakkai?"

"I'm not sure but there is something different, I just can't put my finger on it."

"Now that you mention it, he does look a little pudgy." Gojyo poked a finger at Hakuryu's stomach.

"Kyuuu!" The little white dragon seemed upset by that statement.

"Maybe he's pregnant" Goku noted helpfully.

THWACK

"HE's a male you idiot, HE can't get pregnant." The small vein at Sanzo's temple began to throb.

"I bet he's been hanging around Goku too much." Gojyo grinned.

THWACK

"Ow! Sanzo why'd you hit me?"

"You have no room to talk when it comes to eating, you moron."

Hakkai continued to fuss over the little dragon.

Day after day bits of food disappeared.

Sanzo saw a white thing lying in front of a window and had a momentary flash of panic. It almost looked as if the dragon/jeep was dead or sick.

He leaned over and stroked the tiny head. "What's wrong with you?" He asked, and then smacked himself on the forehead. Dragons do not talk.

Something that sounded like a sigh came from the window sill.

Sanzo peered out the window in the direction Hakuryu was looking. "I don't see anything."

"Kyuuuu." Red eyes blinked at him.

It was an overcast day. Grey, cloudy and miserable. Not as bad as rain, but close enough.

Sanzo sighed. He really hated days like this, not wanting to go out, yet sick of being stuck inside.

He and Hakuryu looked at each other. Sanzo realized something; they had not left the inn for several days. Maybe Hakuryu wanted to fly, or drive, anything to be outside.

"Are you bored?" He felt stupid asking an animal how it felt.

"Kkyyyuuuuu." It seemed to be an affirmative answer.

He had to find Hakkai to let him know about his idea.

Nobody was around. A note said Hakkai and Goku had gone shopping and he could guess what Gojyo was up to.

Sanzo looked at Hakuryu and Hakuryu looked at Sanzo. Both let out a wispy sigh.

"Well come on let's go out side so you can stretch those wings a bit." He opened the back door of the inn and Hakuryu flew out, nearly clipping some of Sanzo's hair off in his haste to exit.

Sanzo stood under a tree smoking, watching the flips and swirls the dragon was making in the sky.

"Guess I was right." He moved back toward the inn. "Come on lets get inside."

Hakuryu flew in landing on the window sill and chirped at Sanzo.

"You're welcome, but if you tell anyone I'll shoot you."

"Oh dear."

Sanzo spun around to see Hakkai standing in the kitchen doorway with his hand covering a smile. "Shit."

"Sanzo why are you threatening my dragon?" Sanzo could see how hard Hakkai was trying to not laugh.

"If you must know, I found out what was wrong with him."

"You did? What?"

"He was bored stiff, and shame on you for not noticing the behavior of your pet."

"You mean that's why he seemed to be gaining weight?"

"Yes he had nothing else to do so he mooched food."

Hakkai picked Hakuryu up and lovingly stroked the head. "I'm so very sorry my pet" Hakuryu chirped happily rubbing Hakkai's face with it own. "I guess my thoughts were somewhere else."

Sanzo thought it was a good time to leave the room or he would succumb to sugar shock from all the sweetness. Before he actually walked out the door he looked back over his shoulder and stopped dead in his tracks.

He could have sworn Hakuryu had winked at him.


End file.
